Something that really *does* harm marriage

[ckd]

Anthony Lake's Boston Globe op-ed, describing a conversation he had with a former student who commanded a platoon in Iraq:

His mission, he said, came down largely to trying to keep his platoon alive. And it was one of the few in his area that suffered no fatalities.
But the personal costs were still high. Almost one third were wounded, some severely. And of 14 who were married, 10 are divorced or separated.

I'm sure that the Massachusetts Family Institute folks, and Archbishop O'Malley, and the rest of the gang will be outside the White House protesting this attack on traditional marriage any day now.

Comments

[melted-snowball.livejournal.com]

It's very sad that so many US servicemembers' families are experiencing such family trauma. I'm glad that it does seem that folks in the US have been trying to help such families, but it's very sad.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Military service has been hard on families for as long as I can remember. Even in peace time, it's not a family friendly environment. It has gotten much better in the last 30 odd years. It's been years since I've heard anyone say, "If the [pick branch of service] wanted you to have a wife, they'd have issued you one!" But there's still a long way to go.

And of course the long deployments are stressful for those deployed and those left at home to deal without their spouses.

[ckd]

Oh, I know; I've lived it as an Army brat. Heck, I started out living it; I was born at the hospital near my mom's parents because my dad was in Korea at the time.

Even today, I see it with my brother, sister-in-law, and niece; the latter was born while my brother was in Iraq, and the table set for Christmas dinner was one seat short of a set since he's on another tour now. (Another thing that irritates me, when people say "well, we have to make sacrifices" while I don't see any blue star banners in their windows....)

[tygerr.livejournal.com]

Wow. I had no idea. Somehow those wily deviant gays are even sabotaging the marriages of our brave (hetero) soldiers overseas! (Oh teh horror!1!11!OMGWTFBBQ!11!

[shostack.livejournal.com]

You're pointing out a fact that numbers-based systems have a hard time reckoning. Military servicepeople are, in fact, people. While they are making their "sacrifices" they have families, and friends that are having feelings. Expecting servicefolks to be away from their families for as long as they are is yet another way that they are expected to be superhuman. I'm not surprised that their human marriages have trouble with it.